曾经的我，一点都不喜欢这世界。总觉得不知道为什么而活。那时的我极度厌世，就连坐在阳台边，也总有一股冲动想往下跳（呵呵，你想不到吧天使！！）。不过还好，所谓的理智战胜了想逃避的心理。这事一直都没发生，要不然你也不会在这里看我写得无聊东西，听我述说什么人会在意的琐事了。
一个人的时候，我总会陷入深深的思考之中。我一直都想找到一个理由，一个让我向前，努力去活得更好的理由。但可惜的是我一直找不到这个理由。生活的所见所闻都是负面的。
“战争、贪污、强奸、乱伦、抢劫、污染……森林以每分钟数百英亩的速度消失，多元的物种也已经灭绝了许多，超乎你所能想象的多，天气也不断的变化，天灾也反常的多了起来。”
这些东西都不停地在报上电视上出现。
大人们现在好像都不再灌输人性本善的观念给小孩了，我现在最常听到的就是——“你还小，等你出来社会工作时你就会知道社会有多险恶了”。听到这样的东西，我只能无言已对。
这种种负面的事情更让我心中的灰色地带不停的膨胀。我更加沉默、更加讨厌这个世界。真挚笑容也渐渐的变少了，取而代之的一张冷漠的脸。一张连我都觉得有点冷的脸。生活好像显得很沉重，肩膀的肌肉也一直紧绷着……
我以为会跟着自己所安排好的计划一直走下去，尽管是一个人，尽管是不开心。。。我也以为不会再为什么，不再为谁而改变了。但是我庆幸我终于能够摆脱了灰色的心障，尽管生活不尽如人意，也不知道有什么意义，我开始学会了让自己活得开心些，尽管我还是用我灰色的眼瞳来观察这世界。
想改变沉闷的生活，得从自己做起。我开始跑步，提高自己的体力。爬山，登高而望远的感觉，感受那高山独有的气息。馋嘴的我也想尝遍世界的美食，呵呵，也贪心地向把这个部落格变成food blog。最重要的是我遇见了一个人，遇见了她，让我心中的阴霾渐渐的散去了。尽管不是男女朋友，但我还是庆幸能够遇见她。从那时候开始，学会了从新的角度看世界，看见了以前视而不见的人事物。
I'm undergoing Metamorphosis，最后的我会变成什么样子，我也不知道。且让我拭目以待吧！！
(变成阳光男孩？？:bpbpbbpbppbpbpbp)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
我，回来了！！！
光阴似箭、时光如梭、春去秋来、落叶归根、大风起兮、大地回春（寒。。。。），不知不觉地两个月假期就过去了。呵呵，现在宣布《默语录》在今天，随着我大学最后一个学年开学的日子、在万众期待、千呼万唤之下，在右抱琵琶半遮脸的姿态下重新启动了。很累赘对吗？我就是酱的咯，你吹我不涨的！！娃哈哈！！:bpbpbpbpbpbppb
呵呵，真是感叹啊，原本以为会过得很无聊的假期却显得出奇意料之外的“没那么无聊”。尽管生活来来去去不过是早睡迟醒、在家里帮帮忙、看看电视、吃吃饭、找朋友喝喝茶之类的，却不自觉地让我找回心理的平静，心中的“怨气”淡了不少。也许是离家太久了吧，就连原本是血浓于水的家人也会感到有些陌生。有点庆幸，在这两个月里的相处，多多少少地拉近了彼此的距离。
（至于我的沙巴游记呢，再迟些才整理吧，呵呵，懒虫的一家人已经在我身上扎了根、开枝散叶了。）
呵呵，前两天是端午，你吃粽子了吗，有看到人划龙舟吗？我就是在两天前会到来SK的，别人是在水里划龙舟，我则是在车水马龙之中，靠着一本地图，寻找着我归家的方向。在马不停蹄之后的三个半小时后，旅程终于决书了，而我那因为狂踩油门而显得麻痹的黄金右脚终于可以休息了！！
呵呵，到了Sk的家里之后，经过小小的休息+随随便便的整理之后，我又再次出门了。靠着天使所画的地图我来到了Sec17，猪肉刀的的地方，然后到和天使还有其他两个朋友到murni去喝茶。呵呵，那晚我们也聊得很开心，一起缅怀以前在中学的开心日子，和那时候所做过的傻事。呵呵，天使啊，我也想吃萝卜糕。:bpbpbppb
天使所画的地图如下
呵呵，真是感叹啊，原本以为会过得很无聊的假期却显得出奇意料之外的“没那么无聊”。尽管生活来来去去不过是早睡迟醒、在家里帮帮忙、看看电视、吃吃饭、找朋友喝喝茶之类的，却不自觉地让我找回心理的平静，心中的“怨气”淡了不少。也许是离家太久了吧，就连原本是血浓于水的家人也会感到有些陌生。有点庆幸，在这两个月里的相处，多多少少地拉近了彼此的距离。
（至于我的沙巴游记呢，再迟些才整理吧，呵呵，懒虫的一家人已经在我身上扎了根、开枝散叶了。）
呵呵，前两天是端午，你吃粽子了吗，有看到人划龙舟吗？我就是在两天前会到来SK的，别人是在水里划龙舟，我则是在车水马龙之中，靠着一本地图，寻找着我归家的方向。在马不停蹄之后的三个半小时后，旅程终于决书了，而我那因为狂踩油门而显得麻痹的黄金右脚终于可以休息了！！
呵呵，到了Sk的家里之后，经过小小的休息+随随便便的整理之后，我又再次出门了。靠着天使所画的地图我来到了Sec17，猪肉刀的的地方，然后到和天使还有其他两个朋友到murni去喝茶。呵呵，那晚我们也聊得很开心，一起缅怀以前在中学的开心日子，和那时候所做过的傻事。呵呵，天使啊，我也想吃萝卜糕。:bpbpbppb
天使所画的地图如下
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Long break
Its looooooong holiday,2 months for me so i'm going to really take some rest. Doint nothing at all... thus i'm gonna stop blogging until school reopens, or at least when i got mood. Peace!
Monday, April 25, 2005
Preview of Sabah-KK Trip
Yap. Here I am in KLIA now, spending RM15 for 75minutes worth of time at Burger King, the most expensive I'd used for internet. Damn I was conned by the advertisement. The piece of advertisement Mentioned the things below:
yeah, I'm just being screwed, i thought i made my enquiries at the counter clear enought, Does RM15 includes the meal? and yada yada she said something and I thought, yeah, it is. So i gave my order. But then i saw her punching the machine, it showed "rm 14.xx (meal) + rm15.00 (internet)..... Duh.... Freakin KLIA with Freakin minded morons who tought that everyone who steped into the airport should be surcharged a few hundred percents higher. (Imagine that i can surf in KL with RM2 perhour, here? Freakin RM15 for 75 minutes. A BIG NO NO.
Yeah rite, the computer here is okay, speed is accecptable, but THIS COM is freakin shared by lots of people, people who signed into -p-o-r-n- (deleted) their instant messagers without signing off. And this com is paired with a nice flat notebook like keyboard, but hell the funtion keys are located diffrently, i spent 10 minutes time finding ways to just to coop with it.
Yeah it cost me RM2, freakin RM2 wasted and another minute is wasted while i'm doin the math. Fuhh... Its 12Am now i just landed in KLIA from Bayan Lepas, Penang like an hour ago. Bah... i still gotta wait until 9am next morning for my flight to sabah.
Wish me luck, hope that i can get a good sleep tonite.
RM15 for 75 minutes
Dear custormer,
Should you wish to use the internet facility, kindly purcase the internet access card from our counter.
Notes:
- Cards sold are non-refundable.
- Credit limit expiry date is stated on the card.
-f-u-c-k- y-o-u-(nono, it should be, sorry i cant find the strike tru center option here)
Thank you
yeah, I'm just being screwed, i thought i made my enquiries at the counter clear enought, Does RM15 includes the meal? and yada yada she said something and I thought, yeah, it is. So i gave my order. But then i saw her punching the machine, it showed "rm 14.xx (meal) + rm15.00 (internet)..... Duh.... Freakin KLIA with Freakin minded morons who tought that everyone who steped into the airport should be surcharged a few hundred percents higher. (Imagine that i can surf in KL with RM2 perhour, here? Freakin RM15 for 75 minutes. A BIG NO NO.
Yeah rite, the computer here is okay, speed is accecptable, but THIS COM is freakin shared by lots of people, people who signed into -p-o-r-n- (deleted) their instant messagers without signing off. And this com is paired with a nice flat notebook like keyboard, but hell the funtion keys are located diffrently, i spent 10 minutes time finding ways to just to coop with it.
Yeah it cost me RM2, freakin RM2 wasted and another minute is wasted while i'm doin the math. Fuhh... Its 12Am now i just landed in KLIA from Bayan Lepas, Penang like an hour ago. Bah... i still gotta wait until 9am next morning for my flight to sabah.
Wish me luck, hope that i can get a good sleep tonite.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Bukit Bendera
yeah, i was gonna blog about bukit bendera. and As soon as I wanna get online to post my thousand word lenght blog in chinese ( spend half n hour doin in) the com f*cking restarted when I tried to dial.
Man wats wrong? I'm kinda beh syok so I'm gonna summerize it, in English.
Morning - went BM fetch friends - go to Botanical garden ( our malay pals renamed it to taman bunga in malay, and I was, WTF??) - goes up reach top in less than 2 hours. - rest, got down at 2pm ( 1 hour plus to get down) - back BM, eat yam rice, curry mee (pork knife, feeling like eating it? the pig Blood is nice, yummm yummm) - end.
Ps: this blog is likely goin to slow down as i dun have broadband acess at penang, and my holiday will last for 2 months... hehe, anyway have extra bucks to spare, please apply streamyx for me and clear up the bills monthly. :bpbpbp . But i doubt there's be any. heheh
Man wats wrong? I'm kinda beh syok so I'm gonna summerize it, in English.
Morning - went BM fetch friends - go to Botanical garden ( our malay pals renamed it to taman bunga in malay, and I was, WTF??) - goes up reach top in less than 2 hours. - rest, got down at 2pm ( 1 hour plus to get down) - back BM, eat yam rice, curry mee (pork knife, feeling like eating it? the pig Blood is nice, yummm yummm) - end.
Ps: this blog is likely goin to slow down as i dun have broadband acess at penang, and my holiday will last for 2 months... hehe, anyway have extra bucks to spare, please apply streamyx for me and clear up the bills monthly. :bpbpbp . But i doubt there's be any. heheh
Friday, April 15, 2005
My 1st time 第一次~~
没错，我把我的第一次送出去了。
有见红吗？！？！没啥留意到喔，hmmmm....我倒是穿得红红的。
呵呵，在旧housemate的要约下我点头了，答应跟他们一块儿到Red Box去唱K。我从来都没去过这样的地方勒，他们有好大的面子，让我愿意我的献出"第一次"。
红格子（丛外星人那里偷学回来的）那到底是个怎样的地方呢？为啥会吸引酱多的人到那里去玩呢。好让我开始发挥我的想像力。
映像一：
韩国电影里头的，有小小的disco light、长长的桌子、小小的舞台、超大的荧幕、、舒服的沙发、妖娇且热情地的女人。。。。
映像二：
香港电影里头的，昏暗的灯光、黑色真皮的沙发、浓妆艳抹的“粉头”、黑色会老大、臺面下的交易、啤酒瓶（爆樽干架用的）、铁头功、金刚腿、周星X。。。。。
映像三：
日本电影里头的，女人、雅美、雅美、雅美蝶、 一带、一带、一带哟。。。。。
想太多。呵呵，
十一点半早上来到sunway的红格子，第一印象就是——好小。就比最近流行的格子是一块钱一首歌的K歌包厢（一米乘一米大小的格子）大些。hmmm....好吧，那开始唱吧。
开始唱歌咯，好high哟，朋友们都七手八脚的点了好多歌，不过我一看到选好的歌曲列表，心情有点急速冷冻的感觉（哈哈，夸张了点）。原来我和我的(seniour housemates)的确是有年龄的gap。他们点的歌。。。很旧，旧到连看了歌名也不知道是啥歌那种。。。呵呵，不过不要紧，另外的一个女生点了我熟悉的歌。。。不过都很难唱，以我的破烂豆沙喉，高不成低不就的音阶，唱出来的歌只能说是比五音不全好一点 -____-。
更我们一块儿去的，有两个女生，一个很会说话、很逗的感觉，歌也唱得很好，顺子的回家也唱得不错~！！而另有一个却很文静。。。在两个半小时里头，她好像都没唱到歌。。。呵呵呵，不过管它的，遇到我会唱的，我便脸皮厚厚的抓起麦克风，用整个人瘫在沙发上、整个废人look，大唱特唱~~反正，唱得难听的话，受折磨的不是我。:bpbpbpbpbpb
呵呵，总的来说，此趟k歌之行是挺不错的，有如倒吃甘蔗一样，渐入佳境。不过。。。。服务员的态度可以更好一点吗？还有不要在人家唱歌唱到一半，进来收那些杯杯盘盘的好吗？那样的感觉好像是来到了某个大排档一样。。。
有见红吗？！？！没啥留意到喔，hmmmm....我倒是穿得红红的。
呵呵，在旧housemate的要约下我点头了，答应跟他们一块儿到Red Box去唱K。我从来都没去过这样的地方勒，他们有好大的面子，让我愿意我的献出"第一次"。
红格子（丛外星人那里偷学回来的）那到底是个怎样的地方呢？为啥会吸引酱多的人到那里去玩呢。好让我开始发挥我的想像力。
映像一：
韩国电影里头的，有小小的disco light、长长的桌子、小小的舞台、超大的荧幕、、舒服的沙发、妖娇且热情地的女人。。。。
映像二：
香港电影里头的，昏暗的灯光、黑色真皮的沙发、浓妆艳抹的“粉头”、黑色会老大、臺面下的交易、啤酒瓶（爆樽干架用的）、铁头功、金刚腿、周星X。。。。。
映像三：
日本电影里头的，女人、雅美、雅美、雅美蝶、 一带、一带、一带哟。。。。。
想太多。呵呵，
十一点半早上来到sunway的红格子，第一印象就是——好小。就比最近流行的格子是一块钱一首歌的K歌包厢（一米乘一米大小的格子）大些。hmmm....好吧，那开始唱吧。
开始唱歌咯，好high哟，朋友们都七手八脚的点了好多歌，不过我一看到选好的歌曲列表，心情有点急速冷冻的感觉（哈哈，夸张了点）。原来我和我的(seniour housemates)的确是有年龄的gap。他们点的歌。。。很旧，旧到连看了歌名也不知道是啥歌那种。。。呵呵，不过不要紧，另外的一个女生点了我熟悉的歌。。。不过都很难唱，以我的破烂豆沙喉，高不成低不就的音阶，唱出来的歌只能说是比五音不全好一点 -____-。
更我们一块儿去的，有两个女生，一个很会说话、很逗的感觉，歌也唱得很好，顺子的回家也唱得不错~！！而另有一个却很文静。。。在两个半小时里头，她好像都没唱到歌。。。呵呵呵，不过管它的，遇到我会唱的，我便脸皮厚厚的抓起麦克风，用整个人瘫在沙发上、整个废人look，大唱特唱~~反正，唱得难听的话，受折磨的不是我。:bpbpbpbpbpb
呵呵，总的来说，此趟k歌之行是挺不错的，有如倒吃甘蔗一样，渐入佳境。不过。。。。服务员的态度可以更好一点吗？还有不要在人家唱歌唱到一半，进来收那些杯杯盘盘的好吗？那样的感觉好像是来到了某个大排档一样。。。
Exam Is Over
Yeah, Exam is finally over, and longest holiday is waiting for me. Enuff to say, rest 1st before continue blogging.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Yawn~~
Yawn~~~ darn!!! I can't sleep well yesterday. I think it must be the coffee I took. I slept at 2am and went to bathroom 3 times before the clock points at 3. And then I kinda opened my eye and checked the clock for every, err... like every hour starting from 3.30am. Its like.... the thing I wished most is it reached 6.30am, the preset time I wanna wake up, when I opened my eye next. And it failed me again n again. Duh.... I still got an exam at 9.00am. bah.... Finally the clock "hits" at 6.30am and my handphone alarm played the happy tune to "wake" me up.
Duh... i was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever from 6.30am until 8.45am when I steped into MPH(multi purpose hall) for my exam, and from 9am I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever until I rushed and finished up crapping in my Engineer and Society which suckup 2 days and 2 nite's of my precious time for memorising loads of "toots" ( censored, no sh*t as requeired by Emily, hehehe, just for this time). And then I was YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever again, I quickly raised up my hand and show the intention to leave early.
But then when I went to the "invigilator" with my paper, I was asked to sit back to my own seat, and she will attend to me. I was "Huh?!!?" while at the same time I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever. Okay then I was so blurr that I can't find my seat and everyone saw my face "so Blurr" and I had to look for my table number, again. Duh...
Finally exam is over, and I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWINING forever and off to my bed right after my lunch. 2 Hours later I woke up and I am still like... hehhehe, yawning ( no caps this time ).
:bpbpbpbpb, what a day~~!!
Duh... i was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever from 6.30am until 8.45am when I steped into MPH(multi purpose hall) for my exam, and from 9am I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever until I rushed and finished up crapping in my Engineer and Society which suckup 2 days and 2 nite's of my precious time for memorising loads of "toots" ( censored, no sh*t as requeired by Emily, hehehe, just for this time). And then I was YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever again, I quickly raised up my hand and show the intention to leave early.
But then when I went to the "invigilator" with my paper, I was asked to sit back to my own seat, and she will attend to me. I was "Huh?!!?" while at the same time I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNING forever. Okay then I was so blurr that I can't find my seat and everyone saw my face "so Blurr" and I had to look for my table number, again. Duh...
Finally exam is over, and I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWINING forever and off to my bed right after my lunch. 2 Hours later I woke up and I am still like... hehhehe, yawning ( no caps this time ).
:bpbpbpbpb, what a day~~!!
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Deep Shit~~
Yeah you hear me right, I'm now half way into da deep shit. Here's the story...
Somehow i forget to pay my tuition fee on time, while Ptptn has already banked in the money. So when I was about to do my pre-course registration, I found out that I'd been barred. Okay fine, i'm goin to settle the next day, and I did it via BCB and Maybank. But the problem is BCB is freakin slow on giro transfer so I had wasted another day waiting the money to be transfered to Maybank. ( Yeah yeah, i know i should have just tranfer from BCB to MMU account, but I din realise that BCB is so "efficent").
After I tranfered the money to MMU account, I have to wait for another day for "reavtication" of my status, just to do my registration. And guess what? The registration time is over!!! Damn... have to wait a few days more, until my turn again. They have a scedule for the registration.
But then its study week already, up until today(another 2 day since i'm allowed to register again) only I realised that I haven done the registration yet. So Okay, I login to the online registration page and start doin my job.
Then when I come to register this particular subject called Project ( its my final year project, MMU called it FYP), damn its capacity is full. @@, what da heck they even inplement a capacity limit in Project. I'm f*ckup, heheh, if I couldn't do it manually later means I have to extend my period in MMU. I really dun like this idea.
damn....
Somehow i forget to pay my tuition fee on time, while Ptptn has already banked in the money. So when I was about to do my pre-course registration, I found out that I'd been barred. Okay fine, i'm goin to settle the next day, and I did it via BCB and Maybank. But the problem is BCB is freakin slow on giro transfer so I had wasted another day waiting the money to be transfered to Maybank. ( Yeah yeah, i know i should have just tranfer from BCB to MMU account, but I din realise that BCB is so "efficent").
After I tranfered the money to MMU account, I have to wait for another day for "reavtication" of my status, just to do my registration. And guess what? The registration time is over!!! Damn... have to wait a few days more, until my turn again. They have a scedule for the registration.
But then its study week already, up until today(another 2 day since i'm allowed to register again) only I realised that I haven done the registration yet. So Okay, I login to the online registration page and start doin my job.
Then when I come to register this particular subject called Project ( its my final year project, MMU called it FYP), damn its capacity is full. @@, what da heck they even inplement a capacity limit in Project. I'm f*ckup, heheh, if I couldn't do it manually later means I have to extend my period in MMU. I really dun like this idea.
damn....
Friday, April 01, 2005
炒米粉~~
炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~炒米粉~~ 連續三餐都是米粉，吃到xian！！！！！！！
呵呵，順便祝大家愚人節快樂~~
呵呵，順便祝大家愚人節快樂~~
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About Me
- ahsang
- Strange being -- identified as homo sapiens(male) -- ill tempered, moody, senstive(to certain things), ignorant(to most of the things), stays up at night, less expose to sunlight, fair skin, always dress in dark coloured clothes, coloured clothes doesn't fit on him. -- living with twisted mind(abnormal la that means), thus the word is driving him nuts -- I guess, i'm crazy a little =)